Happy Father's Day Pop!

Webster's Dictionary defines father as "a man who has begotten a child."  Amazing how completely and utterly devoid of nearly 99% of the true meaning of the word, the dictionary leaves off.  Indeed, if in our society this is all fathers actually did, we really wouldn't have much of a society or civilization at all. 

We all know typically mothers are glue which holds families together, and fathers are more known for playing other roles: handyman, hunter/gatherer, disciplinarian, ATM, or sadly in some cases, absentee parent.

How we men learn the role of a father comes not from a book, a class, a college major, a TV show, or through osmosis.  Rather it tends to come from our personal experience with our own fathers.  Our mental recordings, filtered through our own eyes over the years is typically how the framework is provided.    

This is where a particular bible verse, which has always resonated deep within my soul when I have read or heard it spoken, comes to mind.  "For now we see but through a glass, darkly... (1 Corinthians 13:12).  The literal interpretation of the words are a mirror, albeit not a perfect one, but to me the nuance is one which is not fully reflective, more of a partial, somewhat filtered image.

Indeed, as a father, I can see elements of myself in my own children, both good and bad.  The real struggle of being a father is in trying to enhance the good, and try to help eliminate or minimize the bad. 

Often in conversation with friends, family, colleagues and fellow parents, our philosophies of how we fulfill the role tends to come forth, unbidden. It is so hard-wired into our DNA and our thought processes by adulthood, we can pontificate on the do's and don'ts on autopilot.  It is as automated a response as breathing.

As I see it, speeches about honesty, lectures on integrity, and the occasional talk about life is not going to lead your children to be upstanding model citizens of humanity.  Being your children's best friend; chumming it up playing games, going shopping, watching movies and TV shows completely misses the mark.  Children need fathers to be a role model, not a BFF.

Years and years and years of living your life honestly, of having integrity and perseverance in times of adversity, of sacrificing wants in order to provide for the needs of your family, of being there to laugh and cry with your children, of being there to cheer your children on through the years, of helping them get back up when they fall, of providing the words of encouragement when your children face difficulty, of providing the voice of constructive criticism when children need correction, of being able to listen when an ear is needed, of helping others in their times of need, and of simply being a shoulder to lean or cry on as needed.  These are the starting points of being a good father. 

Even the paragraph above hardly does justice to the true meaning of the word father.  Indeed, every day is another opportunity to learn, and to teach; to improve and refine; to love and be loved.  Now the definition has a good beginning. 

So, why am I writing all of this?  Because tomorrow is Father's Day.  I wish to pay my respects to the one man who has lived a life entirely devoted to providing the very best role model of father I have ever known; my Dad.  Where I could see some very large shoes to fill, you taught me instead to see the world differently.  So, I try instead to follow those great footsteps for they lead down the path to being a great father.  I have so far yet to go Dad, but thanks for pointing me in the right direction.