What I Did On My Summer Vacation, 2012 Edition

It is hard in today's world to slow things down and turn off all the constant noise in our lives.  The only way to learn to listen to one's soul is to shut off the noise, get away from all the hustle and bustle of everyday life and just relax.  There is nothing like peace and quiet for helping you to learn to hear what your soul is telling you.

So, where can one go to find such peace and quiet?  A place where cell phones don't work and there is very little technology to clutter your life?  We returned to our favorite such place this summer, the Red Horse Mountain Ranch in Harrison, Idaho. 

Your first clue is Harrison, ID.  It is a small town on Couer d'Alene Lake, too small to even have it's own gas station.  To get to the ranch, one flies to Spokane, Washington and embarks on a scenic 100-minute drive down I-90 and Idaho 97 just to get close.  The last few miles of road are not even paved.  This is how one gets away.

As you arrive at the entrance to the 300,000 acre ranch you are instantly transported to a quieter life, as there are no televisions or telephones in the cabins, just a TV and a phone in the main lodge for guests to use if they just can't totally unplug.  They do have wireless internet coverage, but thankfully they keep it to the minimums on speed.  You can get email and news, but once you start to experience the peace and quiet the ranch offers, you find yourself not really wanting to go online.

Our adventure began Sunday as we arrived and got a chance to tour the hilltop house where some of the family was staying this visit.  The views from the porches allowed us to see some wild deer and coyotes roaming in the pastures and hills on the east side of the property.  The wranglers don't bring the horses into the pastures below the lodge until Monday morning.

Monday, we started the day off by going on the Returning Guests opening day horseback ride through some of the scenic areas of the valley where the ranch sits.  Our wrangler crew included leader Jeannie, who did a great job pairing us up with our horses for the week, and Tyler who has been there with us before. 

Amanda has long been uncomfortable on a horse, and is really not comfortable with some of the heights and abrupt cliffs some of the trails feature.  But Tyler and Jeannie got her comfortable in the saddle on Scarlet, and our ride gave us the small glimpses and reminders of all the majestic views the trails on the ranch has to offer. 

Monday afternoon featured archery for Sam, Amanda and Donna, while I opted to get back out on the trail with Otis (my alternate horse since poor Chief was still recovering from a sore on his back).  The archery went well from the pics and stories, with many poor foam animals getting shot in the head and groin.  Otis proved to be an adventurer and math scholar as well, demonstrating the principle of the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, as one of the switchback horse trails, Otis decided to take the more direct route with me in tow. 

Tuesday's forecast for Harrison called for highs of 54 and a 100% chance of rain.  So, James and I added a new item to our Idaho-done list: whitewater rafting.  We went with Nick and 5 other guests down the St. Joe River.  Upon meeting up with the ROW Adventures crew, we donned out wet suits, some fleece, splash jackets and booties to prepare for our nearly 4-hour trek with a lunch stop in the middle. 

The water on the St. Joe proved frigid and roaring (just under 5000 CFS).  Since CFS is hard to easily understand, I did the conversion: over 37,000 gallons of water per second.  In any one spot on the river, that is how fast and rough the water was moving.  James and I being the more experienced of our crew of 4 (we had been a few times before, nobody else in our party had ever been) we took the front. 

I doubt I can aptly describe the thrill of riding the water and such a speed and bouncing through the various rapids and waves the river threw our way.  Lenore (our guide) made sure to give us an adventure, without getting any of us tossed out of the boat.  She gave James and I more than a few waves to the face, and even though the water could not have been much above 45 degrees, it kept us invigorated and thrilled to be on the water. 

Nick, our wrangler from the ranch for this adventure, and Roxanne, the wife of one of the other Red Horse guests in the other boat, enjoyed the ride with James and I playing the role of human shields from the massive waves early on.  Lenore proved to be an experienced guide however, and arranged for a few sideways waves and other opportunities to douse everyone.  Just what a great guide is supposed to do. 

After our lunch break, we continued on through Miracle Mile, Tumbleweed Falls, and Endless Ecstasy.  The fast flow of the river helped keep us moving and allowed us to rest in between rapids.  Sadly, the only thing we did not have was a camera, nor did ROW have a photographer to document our various runs through them all.  Alas, I still have the HD video recording between the ears, and given how remote the area was, the lack of any other groups, cars, or civilization, the trip proved to be very relaxing at times too. 

Eventually the run came to an end, and the only drawback to the St. Joe run is...no restrooms or changing areas at the end.  Ah, nature.  Find a tree, some shrubs and revert from wet suits to regular clothes again. 

The whitewater trip was a huge thrill and to me the highlight from this trip.  I only wish the entire family had gone, but nobody else wanted to feel the freezing water so intensely.  I slept like a rock Tuesday night, being exhausted from the rowing and the whole day of cold.

Wednesday morning I had planned to ride and shoot, but this is where the accident with Dad's arm came to be known.  As I got ready for the day, Donna came back from the lodge and told me of Dad's fall and subsequent trip to the E.R. in Spokane.  Shelia and Tom had gone with him during the night and just returned to the ranch to rest, and I decided I had to go and be with Pop, to make sure he wasn't hurting too badly and to be there through the surgery.  So, once again, I sent the family off to enjoy the day and ventured the scenic drive back to Spokane and the Sacred Heart Medical Center. 

I found Dad resting, albeit uncomfortably, in his room and learned his surgery would be around 14:00.  A short while later, Tom and Shelia arrived again to be with Pop as well.  Indeed the surgery went fine that afternoon, and a 10-inch plate, 12 screws, 39 staples and 6 stitches later, he was all fixed up.  He had just narrowly avoided severing his artery in his left arm and indeed, had a great surgeon (Dr. Dunlap) so he got back on the road to recovery fast. 

Shelia remained with Pop in the hospital and I returned to the ranch on Wednesday night, as Pop wanted the family to keep having fun and not worry about him. 

I returned just in time for Karaoke night in the Saloon, and the entire Jacobs/Koval party gave an impassioned version of Desperado for Grandpa and filmed it so he could see.  With the many other adults making very liberal use of the available alcohol the evening grew more lively and crazy as time went by.  Some of the other male guests sang "My Humps", "The Thong Song" and our kids sang a few too (without the added crazy fuel the other adults were enjoying).  "This Is Why I'm Hot", "I'm Too Sexy" and many other actual 'good' songs got butchered repeatedly through the night.  My only forays were the Righteous Brothers "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" and with all the men on "I'm Too Sexy".  Donna forbade my comical striptease dance.  :-)

Thursday, Chief had finally healed up enough to ride, and he and I went out on the Blue Lake Loop.  The trails offers some great views of Blue Lake and the front area of the ranch's property.  Chief and I meshed perfectly, indeed, it was a nice stroll through the trails and Chief didn't even grunt as much as usual at having to carry my big ol' butt around. 

Thursday afternoon brought the only real tough dilemma of what to do of the week.  The Mega Zip line or the sporting clays.  I had not had the chance to shoot yet, and this was the last opportunity of the week.  So, Sam and I ventured out with the other guests to destroy some Taliban clays!  Not being an avid outdoorsman, I am never sure if my aim is going to be on, or if the various animals in the woods need to stay clear.  Today proved to be a great day.  The first 3 stations gave me a nice run of 12/15, including 2 paired shots with the Bunelli 20-guage over/under.  Then the rabbits came, and the splinter in my finger.  :-(  Sadly, the last 2 stations were a simple 5/10 run, with 4 of the 5 rabbits escaping my wrath. 

Still, it was nice to have a good run and Sam enjoyed his afternoon with the old man to boot. 

Thursday night is the big feast, the 5-course meal.  This year proved to be delicious, just like every other year.  Cream of Potato soup with Bacon bits and croutons, a strawberry-baby spinach salad with Feta cheese, Halibut with a sun-dried tomato sauce, beef tenderloin with cinnamon potatoes, garnished with a raspberry-onion blend(?), and for dessert: spice cake with cream and fresh fruit.  I did not give them their true names and my memory is spotty on the details, but the food proved great yet again.

Friday started with another ride with Chief, this time to the Overlook Mountain viewpoint.  Donna and the kids ventured off to do the Coeur d' Alene bike trail.  The ride up the mountain proved beautiful and scenic yet again, with clear blue skies and a nice breeze.  Once we reached the summit, Grant should have been paying more attention to the small warnings Chief was giving, but instead I took more photos. 

Chief kept going to the left, wandering into the underbrush and small trees from time to time and I just kept correcting him and getting back on the trail.  Once we reached the big down slope, an area about 5-6 feet wide, layered with rocks to help the horses keep their footing, our real adventure began.  About 25 yards down the 80-100 yard slope, Chief went left again, hard, and this time deciding to go around the 3 or so horses in front of us.  The problem for me with his plan was: (A) I wasn't included in the planning session and thus had no idea what in the world Chief was doing, (B) the large tree coming up quickly on the left side of the skinny trail, (C) my general experience with horseback riding did not include lots of instruction on when the horse goes off trail with a mind of its own.  :-) 

Anyhow, with the tree looming quickly and visions of Chief simply brushing by it, I realized my left leg would be crushed between the tree trunk and Chief.  I knew which of those 3 objects would bear the brunt of the impact.  So, quick decision made, I reached my right hand (which had been grasping the rear of the saddle as I leaned back to shift my weight to help get down the trail) up to the reins and gave Chief a hard tug to the right.  It brought his head around to the right and showed him where I wanted to go, but sadly with the other horses crowded in there as well and no part of the speed of our descent slowed, the tree grew even closer.  Now we were a mere 3 feet from the crushing of Grant's left knee and the full-blown survival instinct decided to arrive.  I yanked Chief's reins back as hard as I ever have and yelled "Whoa!".  My beloved Chief did EXACTLY what I had essentially ordered him to do.  He stopped right there.

Now, the reader in you is seeing this picture, but the small voice in the back of your head is telling you: something is missing.  Yes, you are correct.  The laws of physics have yet to be introduced in this story.  You see, an object in motion will remain in motion until a force is acted upon it.  So, my butt, sitting on the saddle with nothing to hold me in place (my hands are on the reins now), flew forward like a missile.  Horse saddles are made with one object which helps many, but all men fear in the right circumstance: the saddle horn.  I went sliding full forward, trying desperately to raise myself in the saddle by standing in the stirrups, and went right over the horn and began to appear as if I would fly right over Chief's head and down about 8 feet the rocky ground and then have the further indignity of being trampled by the other horses on the trail. 

Pop, you might want to prep that room for more surgery?  Nope!  I threw my arms around Chief's neck, and locked them as tight as I could.  Chief must really like me to let my fat ass lay on his back and neck, eyes bugged out, taking inventory if all my parts were really still there and we were not going into the tree. 

I managed to slide back into the saddle and convey my sincere thanks for not having been a human missile or tree scarring device.  However, male parts were not going to allow me to just pretend this never happened.  I had to admit my limits and ask to get some help getting down the rest of the trail.  Kylie was kind enough to walk us down the rest of the way, and when we got to flat ground, I dismounted from Chief and displayed an amazing cowboy strut.  :-)  Kylie did credit me with one the three greatest saves from being thrown off a horse she had ever seen.  She might have just been polite, and meant to say one of the three funniest attempts to get tossed off a horse, I am not really sure.  Heh!

Poor Chief had opened a big sore on his back, and when we were going downhill, his sweat from the exertion of carrying me went flowing right into it.  Oh, it was on his back on the right.  So, he had simply been doing what a horse does, pain on the right, get away from it, go left.  It took me out of any other activities that day, but I managed to survive and am happy to report, just a strained groin muscle and tendon, along with some unpleasant soreness which is in it's fifth day now.  My pride is really the only wound left.  :-)

Friday night we all went to the meadow for the end of the week BBQ, and enjoyed one final meal together.  Nearly the entire staff went along and we got a chance to say some " thank yous", some "goodbyes" and share our stories for the week.  The crews of folks at Red Horse Mountain Ranch just seem to get better and better every year. 

Our final event was the campfire Friday night with Andrea, Amanda, Gina and Tom Lamb from the Ranch crew.  We enjoyed the beautiful

weather, the clear skies, and the nice tunes.  The Jacobs party closed it out too, not turning in until 11pm.  We didn't want the week to end. 

So, while it isn't quite an amazing tale of adventure, it is just my running virtual diary of the trip.