An attempt to bridge the LivesMatter communication gap

Today, I feel compelled to share words which come from deep in my soul: we must bridge the gap of our differences if we are to stop the violence which is growing in our nation. At the risk of upsetting the apple cart, maybe a few friends, I am going to try and say what I feel I must in order to try and help keep the very important conversation/debate/discussion about race and justice in our nation alive and moving forward. We all have the same goals: peace on the streets, safety for our families and ourselves and a desire for less violence and anger in our lives.

 

We have had so much tragic news about black men being shot to death by the police, and the police being shot to death by some angry black men. Honest to God, it is starting to sound like a war is brewing and it will be devastating to the fabric of our nation and of our communities if this doesn’t stop very soon. 

 

First, the whole BlackLivesMatter, BlueLivesMatter and AllLivesMatter thing; hashtags simply cannot convey nearly enough context in this case to be truly useful. This is a great example of where they absolutely suck. They do stir emotions and evoke a response though, I give them that. 

 

I believe the intent of the majority of BlackLivesMatter messengers is BlackLivesMatterToo or BlackLivesMatterEqually, and right now they don’t believe enough/most people agree. At least that is how I believe it is intended to be received. Systemic violence against black lives is what is seen and there is too much of it which is simply ignored or swept under the rug. If the victim is a pretty white teenage girl, it is front page news. There is much anger at the one who would end such a life. There is a call for change, for justice. In that regard, I have to agree with the many of the BkLM crowd: the events are reported and viewed differently. It is very important we acknowledge that I think and work to understand this is how so many people see reality. 

 

Secondly, I tend focus (as I am going to guess many in my demographic group do as well) on a case-by-case basis. For example, I work in a peripheral part of law enforcement as my friends know, but I hear it often said at work, in the news, in any investigation: follow and evaluate the evidence and you can get to the truth. So each case, I try to wait to form a judgment until all the evidence comes in. This is very important I think as a distinction. Why? Ferguson, Missouri. 

 

The Michael Brown case is generally seen by many as the tipping point of the BlackLivesMatter movement. The riots and civil unrest there gave rise to a great many people choosing sides in the debate and drew a lot of lines in the sand. However, when the evidence came in, there was a problem. Eyewitness testimony was disputed and the evidence showed Mr. Brown had indeed reached inside the squad car and wrestled with the police officer for control of the officer’s gun. Even the FBI crime labs confirmed this as a fact listed in their official report. All of the evidence showed the shooting was in fact quite legal and justified, even according to the FBI. 

 

With the protests raging, many people wondered, why are people protesting a legal, justified shooting by an officer of an individual who had wrestled for his gun and was threatening his life. Thus, many came to the conclusion that the BlackLivesMatter protesters did not care about the truth, and thus their concerns were invalid and should be dismissed since facts seemed to not matter. Like it or not, I know for a fact that view was in the mainstream of thought. 

 

Contrast that with the Walter Scott case in South Carolina. It was quite different. The Walter Scott case evidence proved enough to get the officer in question indicted on charges including murder. Scott was shot in the back, he did not in fact threaten the officer in question.

 

The list goes on and you will find some cases where the facts justify a legal use of force, and some where the evidence will prove the use of force was unjustified. My point is this: I tend to evaluate each case on a case-by-case basis. I will always do so because that is how we determine whether someone is guilty or not. We cannot make blanket judgments in my opinion.

 

There is the disconnect I think. One message is seeking equal amounts of concern and attention to a systemic trend, the other group is saying we evaluate each case to form an opinion. I think we aren’t communicating because we are focusing on different aspects. 

 

I don’t believe for a minute all BlackLivesMatter supporters don’t support cops or want them all gone. I would venture a guess that 99% of the BkLM supporters very actively support law enforcement, especially in the general sense and in it's stated goal of being color blind for justice. Is there some who want to see this escalate and take vengeance into their own hands or start a war with cops and the 'establishment?' Yes sadly there is, there are incidents and social media posts to prove it.

I also believe there are some on the BlueLivesMatter side (mainly those with prejudice still in their hearts who join the Blue side simply because it is seen as being in 'opposition' to the BlackLivesMatter side) who think all these shootings are justified and to my sickening chagrin, think there are not enough of those. All of those fringe, extremists make me sick to my stomach. They are the immediate BIG problem. Those clashes of the extremes are escalating the violence, and sadly we are not seeing any real leadership in our nation step forward to try and de-escalate tensions and try to get everyone to focus on the real issue where nearly everyone has common ground. We need to understand each of these two groups has very valid concerns and things they want to see change. 

 

Those goals are NOT in conflict.

 

There is another aspect of this discussion which I need to bring to the table before I bow out and let other smarter voices chime in: respect. 

 

Our society does have an issue with this which is a key element in the BLM issues. Some, in all walks of life, think respect needs to be given to them every second of every day, and that any slight needs to be met with a challenge to that perceived slight. 

 

Question someone’s “manhood” and it is about to go down. However, that ignores a fundamental tenet of society: respect must be earned, it is not an inalienable right given by God. The best way to earn respect is of course, to give it as well. For example, I respect an officer in uniform. Nearly all of them earn some just from putting it on. I should point out here, I also respect firemen (and women), someone in a uniform at a hospital, someone wearing a uniform at even Publix or Chick-Fil-A. You see, you treat people with respect, it tends to be reciprocated. I am a customer usually, seeking something from the establishment, and I am willing to pay for the something. As part of that process, we should treat those helping us with respect since they are helping us. Sure some employees treat you like an unwanted pest, or rudely, but my point is they EARN the loss of respect by treating you poorly. 

 

But some in our society think that having white or black skin, having a penis or a really nice rack entitles you to some level of respect in excess of what the Queen of England gets. And that is a problem. It leads to further angst, violence and misunderstood intentions when emotions are high and situations are tense. I so badly want to return to solving problems in our society like ridding our world of cancer, helping get everyone into good jobs with a robust economy (because that helps people get out of dire situations, which is another factor contributing to the rise in crime and violence) and eliminating the terrorist threat which is still quite real and just laughing at us as we tear ourselves apart. 

 

I think if we are truly going to solve this very real and obvious divisive issue, we must do a better job of communicating our concerns and understanding what each side is truly trying to say and accomplish in all of this. I think we can all agree we want less violence, less death, less unlawful activity, less murders, less bad people, less tragedies and less angst in our lives. 

 

One friend of mine used an old line I had not heard in a while and it remains so true: we all bleed red. We are all human beings. We need to figure out how we can get back to being united in our efforts, since when we are, we can accomplish so much. I just want to see something constructive come from all of this, not more of the same tragic news. We need to acknowledge our common ground and each work towards bridging that subtle communications gap which still remains.

 

Alright folks, if you are still reading here: the floor is open. Please keep the commentary civil and respectful, after all my goal is to help further productive communication, not increase the angst.

Some interesting reads on this issue? Book: Under Our Skin by Benjamin Watson, link: http://mmqb.si.com/mmqb/2016/07/14/nfl-duane-brown-eric-reid-minnesota-louisiana-dallas-shootings